The idea of
the car wash came to Pookie when Cornish and Mary Lou Pharmaceutical and
Cosmetic Research Company had just shut down, putting many monkey test subjects
out on the street. Work was hard at the company. They were treated like
prisoners. The monkeys were paid mostly in bananas, but Pookie made the best of
it and even meet his wife, Debra, there. When they were released, Pookie and
Debra found that life in the outside world was a lot more harsh than they
anticipated. It was mostly comprised of humans. They ran everything! Worse yet,
they didn't accept bananas as a form of currency. Luckily, Bank of America
jumped at the opportunity to help get the Pookie family into a nice home.
With a
mortgage and a high interest rate to worry about, (interest rate caps didn't
apply to non humans), Pookie had to think of a way to make more money. He was
working two jobs, one at Burger King, and the other testing air bags the hard
way at a Ford production facility. Pookie figured he'd better become his own
boss or wait until he developed encephalopathy from testing all those damn
safety features. Then he'd have peace. Then he'd be dead and wouldn't have to
worry about anything any more. Two years and three kids later, Pookie decided
to open up a car wash.
Things were
going great at first, but Pookie noticed something peculiar. Most of the
customers would try to buy their car washes with bananas. Of course, the worker
monkeys would take the bananas, and after that Pookie couldn't turn down the
offer of bananas as currency. He tried telling the workers to only take money,
but they ignored him when the scrumptious, yellow fruit was dangled in front of
their faces. More often than not, Pookie would take home a bag of bananas
instead of a paycheck. After about a month, Debra had enough.
“Bananas
won't pay the bills.” Debra said as Pookie walked through the front door.
“Jesus
Christ, Debra. I just got home. I need time to decompress.”
“We have a
mortgage, and children that are malnourished because all they eat are God
damned bananas!”
“I know,
and once the people at the car wash understand -”
“They won't
understand! Debra snapped. “You've tried everything. There are signs everywhere
that tell them you only take cash or credit cards, and they still take
advantage. Why won't you get it through your head that we are second class
citizens in this world? The humans walk all over us and you just let them. I
thought I married a fighter, but now I realize I married a loser.”
Pookie was
hurt. “Just get it all out. I still love you.”
“I slept
with Jeff.” Debra said with relative ease,
as if the pain of the revelation hit her softer than the burden of
keeping the secret. Pookie was at a loss for words. He picked up his little
briefcase, grabbed a banana from the night's haul, and left. Debra broke down
to tears.
Pookie went
to a bar not far from the house. He sat down, placed his briefcase on the seat
next to him, and flagged the Bartender. “What'll it be?” said the Bartender.
“Surprise
me.” Pookie sat in silence for the next few minutes as the Bartender mixed a
drink. When the Bartender dropped off the special concoction, Pookie couldn't
help but laugh. It was a banana daiquiri. “Life is funny.” Pookie thought, as
he sipped the cool elixir of escapism.
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